the lost city, prologue (with an unfortunate TMI section)

a man arrived at our hotel to brief us on our trek to the lost city the following morning. he told us he would be our guide. he spoke barely a word of english, which was unfortunate since we'd be spending the next 6 days with him. still, this was entirely expected. almost nobody speaks english in colombia, even those who cater to gringos.

he told us that only the four of us would be on the trek. the four included mike (uk), walt (usa), avi (israel). mike i just met earlier that day, walt and avi i had been traveling with for about a week now. i was quite happy to be trekking in a small group.

so we pay the man our $500000 each ($250 USD--yes they also use the dollar sign to indicate colombian pesos, which causes a fair amount of psychological sticker shock), and set out to buy our supplies for tomorrow's trek. for me this meant toilet paper. there were rumors that we would be drinking untreated river water and god knows the food prep would not meet with the highest standards of cleanliness as well. still, i was feeling optimistic and went with a cheap, low quality, sandpapery small roll. walt on the other hand went with a luxurious, brand name, triple roll. but then walt is one of those guys who organizes his day around his many bowel movements, spending half an hour or so locked away when the need strikes (sharing rooms with him for several days i had long since realized this). i have never figured out what those people do in there for so long, but maybe it involves a lot of TP. i, on the other hand, am decidedly in the half-a-minute camp, and i'm always trying to come up with ways to improve my times. in fact i so hate third world toilets that in recent years my body has learned (involuntarily) to rarely need them at all outside of the standing position. yes, i was currently on something like a weekly schedule, hence my overwhelming confidence.

i deeply apologize for that unnecessary exposition.

other than the TP, i grab a bottle of rum. i actually considered that much more important, either as a sleep aid or as a painkiller, or perhaps even as a disinfectant. i say sleep aid because we would be sleeping in hammocks in the jungle. i don't think i've ever spent in a full night in a hammock in my life, let alone in a jungle filled with god knows what creatures trying to climb into my hammock with me.

back home

want to know how to get your bags thoroughly searched by US customs? tell them you just spent a month in colombia. when i saw them put on the rubber gloves i was even more worried, but i'm sure they wanted to go there even less than i wanted them to. i was mildly impressed by their questioning however. they used a few slightly tricky techniques to see if i might be lying. i don't know why they can't seem to do that BEFORE people get on a plane, when it might actually be useful.

anyway, after a few days of R&R, the blogging now really gets going.

seriously.